I am attracted to peace, tranquility, harmony, love, empathy, humility, and strength in vulnerability.
I cannot think of anyone whom I know that would prefer to judge others and cause them pain as a natural way of being. And yet…
I do not live my life saying that my way is the right way for you to live your life and therefore, ergo, i.e., e.g., I will spend my life telling others how wrong and misguided they are in the core of their being. I would not measure my success each day by making others feel unworthy, un enlightened, uneducated, or bad by nature. Perfection to me is love. Love is difficult.
I admire those who have achieved inner love that resonates in a distinctive outward glow.
I admire those that, through positive and enriching love of self, have a capacity for humility, empathy, & compassion that resonates in nearly every action.
In my pursuit of love (which embodies empathy, humility, strength, vulnerability and many other attributes that I find peaceful and harmonious) I have felt much pain. I have felt pain from self-judgement and hate-filled words from those who express they are on the same pursuit but taking a different path. This pain that I feel and am expressing is pretty superficial given the seriousness of the problems we have in this world. I feel the need however, to share a small example of the struggle I have with religion. Compassion, love, & empathy are talked about, but I have rarely seen it GENUINELY practiced. Hypocrisy is rampant in the ‘do as I say not as I do’ religious lifestyle, and religion is a lifestyle.
As someone who has studied the bible and the walk of Christ more often than not in life, I find Jesus to be a man whose attributes are worth mirroring. I find the words of men claiming to have known Jesus, and therefore thought to be nearly infallible in their interpretation of Jesus’ thoughts and beliefs, neither comforting nor serving the purpose of cultivating love and peace in others.
Recently, my husband was given words of advice on how important it is not to succumb to spiritism like his wife. I am still so confused by that statement. I have come into contact with this person on less than a handful of occasions over the 8 years I have known them. From the tone of the discussion as well as words spoken, I gathered that it was a very bad thing; that I am a bad person, a person who should be shameful. That’s how it made me feel. I was hurt deeply and the exchange further supported my fear of being judged and continually hurt by religious Christians that I know. I have my own walk and this type of judgment by those I love and respect always leaves a deeper wound than I expect. I didn’t realize that I was evil and didn’t understand where this was coming from. I try to express my struggle with the behavior and how it leaves me feeling so inferior. Before I can relax and clearly express how I feel, my hurt comes out as anger and defense. Kind of normal I guess. Then I realize that not everything is about me…who knew?! 🙂 I use these little lessons as an opportunity to evaluate myself and the motivation of those around me.
I should not judge others, and believe me I try desperately not to, but I sometimes do during times of stress.
When I do judge others, it is generally because I feel pain in their presence.
Call me ignorant but I wasn’t quite sure what spiritism was, it clearly wasn’t a focal point of my studies, so I decided to look it up.
According to the Bible, which has quite a few versus about spiritism, it is generally described as one who is a medium or practices witchcraft, divination etc.. The versus that I could find were all old testament and included stoning people to death and that God hates them. Not quite the words of love and hating the sin and not the sinner that I have come to hold on to. Furthermore, I am indeed not a spiritist nor someone who practices spiritism. Ironically, according to Wikipedia, spiritists themselves believe that Jesus is the greatest moral example for humankind.
I tend to ask myself over and over again; was the goal to hurt me or to sway me or my husband into their belief system? I’m just not sure, but they accomplished hurt.
If someone believes that human nature is negative, destructive, and/or hurtful then it makes sense that one would be guided by a belief system outside of ones self, to regulate ones thoughts and actions given that one believes their inner being to be faulted or sin based.
I believe that human nature is innately good, kind, and peaceful, like that of a young child who simply wants to play and be free before adults come in and ruin all the fun with adult based fears. It is because I believe that my inner being is good that I look inward for my morality and principles by which I want to guide my life. I have the answers, its just about tapping into them. On this subject many disagree, but the beauty of my belief is that we can disagree and nothing changes. Everything is as it should be. The agreement is in the quest for something greater and we all have different definitions of greater and different ways of achieving that goal.